Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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