Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
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looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
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Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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