stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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