I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
