well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i think my cat just said my name.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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