I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
