even my farts smell like vagina
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize