exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
