Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
