the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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