apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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