real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
