This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
