Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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