what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
