somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
