i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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