why didn't you poke me back
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize