i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
