if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You did what with his pubic hair?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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