Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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