She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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