I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
