Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
