and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
