did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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