You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
