Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
