pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
