i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I am mentally ready for anal.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
