How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
