Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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