Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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