How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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