You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
