just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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