You're my little dorito
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
