morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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