Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i think i have two assholes
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
