Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
