Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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