One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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