would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
