THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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