My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
