Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I think my moral compass just broke
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
