Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
