If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
