that's an acceptable place to lick
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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