What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
