Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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