Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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