my sisters under your porch take her home
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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