YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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