i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just had sex on a roof
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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