my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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