Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
