if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
