It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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